The Help Blog Chapters 31-34: The Ugly Truth

           In the final chapters of Kathryn Stockett’s The Help, she explored an area in life that we rarely touch upon. It is what is hidden underneath our words, in our minds and is rarely expressed. It is part honesty and part cruelty, but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Stockett let loose the ugly truth.

           Every single word in the book Skeeter wrote spills the secrets of the help and of the women they have worked for. For some of the help, the book ruins their lives and they are fired. But for others, things turn out better than before. Willie May had worked for a woman for thirty seven years and after the book came out, her and the woman she served sat at the same table for the very first time. Sometimes in life we just don’t realize things until they’re shoved right up in our faces. It could be that we’re too naïve, but most of the time it’s because there’s just too much going on around us. The ugly truth in America isn’t that there is one; but that we don’t recognize it ourselves. It’s because we’re scared that we can’t handle it. In my opinion, how are we supposed to know if we can handle it if we don’t even know what it is? We can’t.

When Minny is lying in her bed, praying to G-d that Leroy doesn’t start a fight with her, she thinks about her life and what has saved her from him. Why he hasn’t given her a hard enough blow to end it all. She realizes it’s her children, because that’s all Leroy has to leave in this world when he’s gone. And he wants to make sure he has enough of them. So Minny finally looks down at her stomach and tells herself why he isn’t beating her tonight; “because that’s the only thing that saved me, this baby in my belly. And that is the ugly truth” (413). It’s not easy for Minny to accept that a baby is what saves her from her own husband instead of their love, but as I wrote in my last post, that’s just the way it is. And that’s why Minny was able to kick Leroy out. She admitted to herself what she knew all along and accepted it. It made her stronger. And that’s what we sometimes have to learn. You can sugarcoat things, you can lie with all your might, but it doesn’t take the truth away no matter how ugly it may be.

The other part of this concept that Stockett shows us is that we have to sometimes acknowledge other people’s ugly truths, because we’re not the only ones who have them. When Aibileen is worried about the women finding out her and the maids and Skeeter wrote the book, she begins to realize that this book has made them free. If they get fired, at least they were able to write this book and free themselves from the guilt of not doing anything. They’d be “freer than Miss Leefolt, who so locked up in her own head she don’t even recognize herself when she read it” (444). And that’s the ugly truth that Aibileen realizes about Miss Leefolt; she’s oblivious and doesn’t even love her daughter enough to give her a hug good morning. Aibileen thought about the book and about her own ugly truth and moved on because she understood that everyone has their ugly truth and nothing would change that.

This becomes an issue with teenagers, because for the half of the day were not in school were sitting at our computers, locked up in our rooms, watching perfect actresses on TV, looking through the profile pictures of that gorgeous girl you wish you were or at the gorgeous boy you wish you had. It eats away at teenagers and we look in mirror and ask why we don’t have that. We internalize it and think it’s our own fault. It leads us to believe that we’re the only one who feels this way because everyone else is better and everyone else has something in their life and we have nothing. We forget to consider that someone else is doing the same thing we are. Stockett proves that there’s another person and many more doing the same thing we are and feeling the same things we are. In this book, she proves it by showing the town of Jackson that everyone has their own ugly truth.

Invisible Children

                I am on Student Council at my high school and was a part of deciding the two possible beneficiaries for our school to vote on for our yearly charity drive. When it came down to the two, I knew right away that Invisible Children would be the winner. After seeing the documentaries and hearing an escaped child soldier speak, I knew that I wanted to help their cause and that so many others would, too. Jedidiah Jenkins spoke to our school and his speech revolved around us. Us as in ourselves; just teenagers attending a high school surrounded by a bubble known as the North Shore of Chicago. He told us that we can make a difference. And looking at the pictures and watching the videos of students our age rallying for change; we couldn’t deny that we could do it, too.

                I believe that Invisible Children puts the money they have raised towards good causes. They are creating tangible things for the children, whether its books, schools, communication devices or just basic necessities. This organization allows us to see where our money goes; it makes our donations visible, and in turn should do so to the invisible children. Parts of their website, such as their crisis tracker, allow us to see what’s happening. Just looking at it right now, it says that there have been ZERO civilian deaths and ZERO abductions. I truly believe that our help is what has allowed this number to stay at zero, and looking at that number all I can think is that I want to do whatever it takes to keep that number at zero.

                Watching a documentary impacted me a lot. It is very helpful that the organization has so many documentaries to watch as it is hard to believe what is happening to these kids without seeing it through our own eyes. It is so easy to relate to the kids who are filmed in the documentaries because they are our age, they like the things we like and love to act like normal kids. During one of the documentaries I watched a man who escaped after being a child soldier said, “The question for life is for all; for any color.” His words really hit me. He put into words what really was going on; anyone can die any given day. It doesn’t matter where you’re from or the color of your skin. When it comes to death, we are all put at the same level. No one is greater than another. It is the same with birth; we were all children at one point, as weak and vulnerable as the rest. The difference is that if someone got abducted and was forced to be a child solider in the United States, the entire world would know about it. Everyone in the US would do everything they could to help. But when a child is abducted in Northern Uganda, forced to kill his family, carry a gun and bow down to a mass murderer, no one hears about it. There’s no Amber Alert in Africa. That is one of the things that Invisible Children is trying to change and why I believe in this organization more than any other; they are giving the child soldiers a voice. And a loud voice, too. This organization has decided to make the invisible children of Africa visible.

The Help Blog Chapters 27-30: The Way It Is

             Sometimes it seems as if the world works in a certain way, and that’s just the way it is. Throughout chapters 27 through 30, Stockett brings forward the idea that things have always been a certain way. It is a concept that has caused people to struggle in society and is a major issue in every day life. There are the general concepts such as models have always been skinny and if you want to be on the runway you have to look like a twig, and that’s just the way it is. Or there’s the smaller issues, such as if you live in certain towns and go to certain high schools, you are going to college once you graduate. That’s just the way it is. And back in 1964, in the Help, things were a certain way and were going to stay that way. That’s just the way it was.

            This concept is something that Miss Skeeter had to learn the hard way. Trying to become a writer in a world where women are housewives is quite difficult, especially when no one around her was being supportive. Miss Skeeter knew that becoming a journalist and author would be a challenge, and she was ready to face it. However, she was still surprised when Missus Stein slapped her across the face with reality when she said, “’If you’re a nobody, as you are, Miss Phelan, before the twenty first is your window. Your only window’” (343). Missus Stein was giving her the deadline of December 21 instead of January as she had told Miss Skeeter earlier. Miss Skeeter did not think that it was fair, but soon realized that in the world of journalism and as a woman are already a disadvantaged party, that’s just the way it is.

            Skeeter is also met with the reality of consistency in society when her mother acts like a real mother for the first time. All her life, Miss Skeeter’s mother acted harsh and cruel towards her, constantly nagging at her about this and that. However when Stuart shows up, her moms says, “’If Stuart doesn’t know how intelligent and kind I raised you to be, he can march straight on back to State Street…Frankly, I don’t care much for Stuart. He doesn’t know how lucky he was to have you’” (357). Miss Skeeter was in shock that her mother said this, but quickly understood. Her mother had to be harsh on her in order for Skeeter to turn out the way she did. Miss Skeeter is so accepting of people because her mother is not. But also, her mother had to prepare her for the realities of the world and that people aren’t going to be nice to her all the time. Mothers eventually define true motherhood, but it takes time and that’s just the way it is no matter how difficult it may be.

            Miss Skeeter’s mother also shows her that some things in life are a certain way and they cannot be changed when she is diagnosed with cancer. Her mother’s diagnosis was very hard for Miss Skeeter to accept. As she was hysterically crying at one point, her mother said, “’Now stop that, Eugenia. It can’t be helped’” (371). In this moment, Miss Skeeter realized that her mother truly was intelligent and accepting of her situation. It was the first time Skeeter looked up to her mother, as well as realized that things are what they are and she can’t always change them. Throughout these chapters, Skeeter shifts into a hippie-like person, as Aibileen describes it. The inspiration to change her beliefs came from her mother. She realized things will work themselves out in the way they were planned to be. By the end of these chapters, Skeeter is successful with her book which allowed Stockett to prove that Skeeter has finally come to terms with the fact that things are what they are and that’s just the way it is.

Abortion

In my opinion, the NARAL-Prochoice America website is way better than National Right to Life. Most of it has to do with the vibe I originally got when looking at the first page of the website. Opening the Prochoice America website, there was a picture of a woman and instantly I saw the use of the word ‘we.’ Whereas when you first open the National Right to Life webpage, you are met with block-like typewriting and it just makes you feel not welcome. Then when looking deeper into the websites, Prochoice has so many places to click on and has a box on the right that says “stories.” If I were in the situation of a pregnant woman, I would want to be able to relate to the website that’s helping me choose my future. I do not want to be met with toolbars and lists of facts that I don’t even understand. Also, the arguments Prochoice provide are much stronger than that of Right to Life. This is one section of the very first article I read that stood out to me;

“In the Senate, Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-­NV), who opposes legal abortion, gave an emotional and touching floor speech in which he decried violence against abortion providers and observed, ‘Those who believe in the sanctity of life cannot be selective. We must value every life – not just those with which we agree.’”

Immediately when I was reading through this website, I found myself agreeing with arguments and wanting to read more and more stories of women’s experiences and I am not even in the situation where I have to make a choice. I did not feel this sense of comfort and confidence when I looked at the Right to Life website. After clicking on the first link under ‘First Trimester” I was met with a detailed description of how a certain abortion procedure goes and all the ways I could die. I wanted to puke after reading that, but gave it another chance. I clicked on the link “When Does Life Begin.” I was then shown two pictures of a fetus and facts were once again being shoved down my throat. Basically, they were saying that I’m killing a child and by doing so, he or she cannot become an adult. Like I didn’t know that. In general, I felt attacked when looking at the Right to Life website.  Therefore, the NARAL-Prochoice America website is much better because it is more relatable and stronger.

In my opinion, it is the person’s choice as to whether or not they tell their parents. If a girl is strong enough to walk into a room and tell a stranger that she needs an abortion, she is independent enough to not have to tell her parents. Some people may think that it’s contradictory; if she was so independent, why did she get pregnant in the first place? Or if she’s so independent, why can’t she take care of the baby? Well here’s my question; what if she was raped? What if she had an abusive father that made her have sex? A person’s business is a person’s business and that is that. It is her body and she knows what is best for her.

I do not believe the father has a right to consent to the abortion. He has a right to have knowledge of the pregnancy, but not consent. If a girl was raped, how is she supposed to get consent from the father? Is it right to make her find the man who raped her, look him in the eye and tell him to sign some papers so she can terminate the pregnancy he forced upon her? No, it’s not right.

Two things that stood out to me when reading the Illinois laws on abortion were the Abortion Ban and the Insurance Prohibition for Abortion. I agree with the courts decisions to rule two Illinois laws unconstitutional regarding health and how many procedures are allowed. The Illinois law states that women can have abortion only when there is a risk of losing her life and this undoubtedly undermines the freedom of choice that our nation so strongly has failed at upholding. The law then continues by limiting the number of procedures to one, which is extremely unconstitutional. So the Illinois law will allow a woman to get an abortion because of health issues the first time, but then not again? How does that make sense? The woman still has the same health issues as the first time. The law also makes any abortion procedure performed other than those necessary due to health as a felony. Also, Illinois law states that insurance policies do not need to include abortion unless the pregnancy threatens the woman’s life. In my opinion, this law should be overruled as it should be the company’s choice as to whether or not they include abortion in their insurance policy. The laws I agree with are Contraceptive Equity, Emergency Contraception and Low-Income Women’s access to both abortion and family planning.

The Help Blog Chapters 23-26: Our Strength

            Over these past two weeks, I read chapters 23 through 26 of the Help. The main idea that Stockett shows, and that I believe we lack socially, is strength. Socially, strength is an issue because people measure us by our strength and judge us based on what we are strongest at. Even more so, our strength is observed based on how we act at certain moments. For example, if one man badmouthed another mans girlfriend, he is expected to fight him. Men are expected to be strong physically, and women mentally. And when that is switched around or we fall short of our genders’ expectations, we are looked down upon. But what Stockett shows is that the truly strong people are the ones who will do something ‘out of character’ for their gender or classification and stand up for it. Not question their actions or make excuses. And in these four chapters, we are shown the strength of Minny and Miss Celia.

            When the man first approaches Miss Celia’s house, Minny is prepared to fight and keep Miss Celia safe. Minny takes Mister Johnny’s hunting knife and a broom as her only forms of defense and faces a white man who is ready to kill her by any means necessary. But Minny’s strength isn’t that she just stood up and was ready to fight; she had to overcome her fear and her thoughts of Leory and the way he beat her. She had to ignore the burning pain above her eyebrow where the sugar bowl split her skin open. She could feel the man forcing thoughts inside her head. She said, “he’s staring with his lip curled like I deserved every bad day I’ve ever lived, every night I haven’t slept, every blow Leroy’s ever given. Deserved it and more” (305). Minny showed her true strength because she was only fighting to protect a white woman, Miss Celia, while white women were the reason she was even in the situation in the first place. It wasn’t approved of for black help to show their strength and stand up for those around them, but Minny did. The only problem was that Minny wasn’t strong enough.

            Miss Celia had to step in to help Minny, Miss Celia who is a white woman risked her life to save a black maid. We have known all along that Miss Celia is not the same as the other white women. But those other women wouldn’t stand up for anyone, not even their own family like Miss Celia stood up for Minny against the man. Minny said, “she takes a deep breath through her nose and I see it. I see the white trash girl she was ten years ago. She was strong. She didn’t take no shit from nobody” (309). But Miss Celia is still just as strong, even though she is portrayed as being weak and vulnerable. Miss Celia has not given up on having a baby, she has not given up on the league women, she has not given up on keeping Minny a secret even though Mister Johnny knows about her. Miss Celia is still strong, maybe not always physically, but mentally. Minny has just seen her at her weakest points. That is where Miss Celia’s strength lies; her mentality. It is something we lack most of the time; the strength in our minds to overcome, to believe in our thoughts and pursue them.